Sorry About That

darkgeem@pyrokinesis.fr (darkgeem) — Sun, 10 May 2026 21:10:28 +0200

Hey, I'm alright.

Yeah, I'm actually... Fine...

I mean, sure, I'm in debt, I have issues, lots of them, if I'm being honest.

But I'm alright.

I can do it.

I can continue, I can keep on living, I'm not that much- Well, I AM in a big lot of trouble, but it's alright.

I'm feeling way better. Not completely under the feeling that everything is falling down on me.

I know I'm not going to get evicted, I'm still paying what I owe.

I lost my means of transportation.

Yeah well, my e-scooter kinda full-on broke. It's still under the warranty, but I have to take it to the shop. And do without it for some time still...

I'll have to do with public transportation until then.

I hate public transportation. I don't hate people per se, but I have ochlophobia.

I shouldn't be full-on venting here.

You should not have to deal with my mental breakdowns, so I'm really sorry. For what I did there.

On another note:

I'm playing factorio again! Yay!

The factory must grow.

How Did I Get There

darkgeem@pyrokinesis.fr (darkgeem) — Thu, 07 May 2026 15:44:25 +0200

I feel tired.

For real this time. Like, really tired.

Not just "I didn't sleep enough" tired, I mean tired tired.

I'm out of money, again.

"How did I manage to do that? I've just been paid ten days ago.",

I just asked myself.

Well...

I keep buying junk food when I could cook.

I keep buying worthless junk with money I don't have.

I keep trying to pay back what I owe, credits, friends, debts...

I am a fucking moron.

I'm starting to hate myself.

I feel empty inside.

I changed jobs, I'm working on interesting stuff, or well, I soon will, but...

... I still somehow feel empty inside.

I feel like no matter what happens in my life, no matter the amount of good things coming, I'll never get myself out of my debts and state of mind.

I fucked up.

I really, definitely, fucked up.

I'll be paid in 20 days, and my bank account is already almost blocked.

Like, I'm spending way more than I earn. Every. Bloody. Month.

And this month, I got paid slightly less than usual, for some reason.

Not much. Just, slightly less. But it broke me. Because... I AM that short on money.

And I have no idea how I'll manage to survive through this month.

This is routine, now.

I feel like this has become my routine.

Every morning, I wake up to the thought of being evicted, of being cut off from my bank, of being fired...

I don't know what's going to happen, but every month I know I'm going to have to continue struggling.

I do not "live", I survive.

This is how I feel.

I can't continue that shit.

...

Please, help me...

Irl on